guard your heart

lent started today. as a kid i would give up things like chips and chocolate. one time i gave up non-christian music. but this time things are different. i asked God if He wanted me to fast from anything for lent. and i heard nothing. and so i wrestled with it because i didn't do anything last year either. this is a tradition for me. as i prayed more about it, God kept saying

 

'guard your heart'

 

i was thinking 'yeah i know that. what do you want me do fast from for lent'. but then i stopped. and i thought about it.

 

 have i been guarding my heart lately? this is kinda contridicting to the open and honest thing he told me to work on in january....

 

i'm not an open person. yeah i'll tell you about me and all the surface things; things going on in my life, what new dress i want or what pair of shoes i finally found after searching for over a year. but i rarely let people into my heart. into the layers beneath the surface. i'm not sure why that is. maybe because sometimes whats underneath hurts to bring to the surface. yolo.

 

so then i wrestled with how to guard my heart yet be open and honest. because so far this open and honest thing hasn't been going the way i had envisioned and i'm hoping it gets better as i continue to work at it.

 

then God gave me a list of things i personally need to change in my life in order to better guard my heart. and for every item on the list He gave me a way to still be open and honest.

 

so these next 40 days, it is your job as the people who read this to keep me accountable to blogging. text me. comment so that i have to resond. the reason i started this blog was to keep my friends world wide informed of my life and what God is teaching me. i find release in writing and enjoy doing it.

 

1 day down.