in like a lion

as a kid my grade 2 teacher would say, 'march comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.' so far march has been cray. day after day something unreal has happened. the majority of the events were negative but because God is so good, they all have or are turning into good things. 

a few days ago i was having a 'lion' like day. i was really feeling defeated. God took me to Exodus 14. this is the story of where God give moses the power to part the red sea.

 in verse 14 it says, 'the LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm'. moses was telling this to the people but God said to moses right after 'why are you crying out to me? tell the people to get moving!'

as i read this i felt God say to me, in verse 14 it sounds like we just have to do nothing and let God do all the work. but as i read verse 15 i realized God wants us to get moving. we can't look at the hopelessness or the destituteness of the situation. 

we have to shift our focus back to God and away from the circumstance.

as i wrestled with this and the circumstance i was in, God asked me

'what keeps you awake at night?'

i listed a few things. most of these were fears to do with the circumstance i was in. God then asked me very clearly,

'shouldn't it be the people who need me? shouldn't it be the lost people whom you want to see set free?'

i realized in that moment after a bit of pondering no one cares about the fears, no one cares about the details. people care about the outcomes. people care about lives being changed. 

now, i'm thinking why do i doubt God when time and time and time again He proves himself worthy, He proves himself faithful, He proves He provides. for whatever reason, as quickly as i get amped about something, i forget, i lose sight, i get fearful. 

what have i learned from all this rambling and cray days? 

focus on God not the circumstance. look to Him not the situation i'm in. 

God has called us forward and fears hold us back.

don't stop believing and pursuing the vision God has given us.

unchanging.

i have had this phrase/song for days now

''everything you do just screams 'i love you'.

everything you are says 'i care'.

you've never failed and you won't start now.''

it's been a rough few weeks since i last blogged. despite the crazy things happening around me and in my life, one thing hasn't changed. God stays the same. He keeps telling me to believe for greater things. and i am. i have been working on making God my everything. & man have the rewards been good. God is great. i can't stress that enough. He's the best thing about me. the best thing about my life. He is all that matters. no matter what comes my way, God is first. God is the same. God is there.

ALSO GUYS GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND'S IS ENGAGED!!!

meet jennifer anne bergquist. she also goes by jen, jenny, jen-nay, jenny b, jenny pooh, jen 1 or the best person you will ever meet. soon she will be jennifer kehler. it actually sounds so perf. this lady has been the ultimate friend. she has supported me 100% through every crazy adventure i embark on, she has been by my side through thick and thin. she has given to me so much. she has blessed me beyond belief. she challenges me. she builds me up. she encourages me. she is partially responsible for the amazing person i am today (just kidding but seriously). she did move away like 3 years ago to shwinnipeg aka worst place ever. but i've grown to love that place. it has stolen some of my greatest friends. but when jen moved away our friendship changed. in the best way possible. it got stronger. we became closer. we became more of who God wanted us to be. jen was placed on a journey and God had a plan. she met the man of her dreams. and they fell in love. and now they are getting married. and i get to be a part of it. and i couldn't be more thankful or happy for them. i can't say enough good things about this lady. she is the one of the best. she is amazing. 

jen, i am so excited for this new season you are heading in! you deserve it gurl. God's timing was perfect although it may not have seemed like it at the time. you and erwin's paths finally met up and God breathed the words 'now' and you met, fell in love and the rest is being written. i can't wait to watch this story unfold. i am so excited to be a part of your big day and stand by your side. i will always remember and always desire to be back in your condo laying on your couch drinking chocolate milkshakes and planning our lives with beauty and the beast playing in the background. you are an amazing friend and if i could give you one piece of advice to get you through every circumstance you will endure it would be 'don't forget the tits'. jk. i hope i turned your tears into uncontrollable laughter. its what i'm best at. but actually, remember that God is the best and is number one. always. 

then me of course.

ps will this guy be at the wedding?