still you know me.

its been a while. sorry. i've been busy getting a bit bruised and concussed, transitioning out of my two jobs into a one new job and just working on my heart with God. 

as i continue on this adventure, God points out things to me and softly whispers 'my beloved, this has to change'. for me, its usually either a sin or a past issue that i need to deal with with God. heres a story for you guys. something still happening. something still so fresh.

i will never forget the date. march 23rd, 2012. i was at a young adults night at my church here in calgary and God whispered something to me in the most loving, caring, fatherly way He could have. He said 'maxine, let's deal with this and conquer it.' that hit me and i said no. not happening. no flipping way. instantly i felt the Holy Spirit reach into the depths of my heart and tugged on this rotten weed i had ignored for a very long time. just enough so that i would do something about it. in these past 3 months i've walked with God in trying to completely remove that weed. its not going to be easy and its going to take a while longer. but i know that someday i will be able to say with confidence in my quivering voice that we conquered it. God and i together. because the same power that conquered the grave lives in me. someday i will be able to sing the words 'i am set free' and mean them 100%. because someday is the reason i never give up. right kaits? miss you girl!

i can tell you God has never left me in hard times. He has never left you. 

one thing remains through the bad, and its Him and His unconditional love.

in saying this all, i have a new found revelation of how God is good to me. i want to know how God has been good to you recently. or even a story on how He is working on your hearts. i love hearing about what God is doing. i also love hearing about how people are wrestling things with God. its the beauty of His still character. because even in those wrestling times, He carries us and says, 'come away with me. open up your heart and let me in.'

check this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTUWBEIjlxc

no i'm not lucky, i'm blessed.

this past weekend some friends from Regina and Winnipeg were in town. i got to hang out lots with them. it was so good to have some familiar faces around and to be challenged together. we attended a conference at my church here in calgary. it exceeded all my expectation and was so amazing. i learned a lot about myself and even more about Jesus. He is so good. the biggest thing i learned this weekend was; 

focus on Jesus and not the circumstance 

this applies to so much its unreal. in requiring healing, in needing an answer to prayer, in needing direction in life, IN EVERYTHING!

also in the news today, i got a new position at the mustard seed. and i also registered for school. heres to a new lyfe. woof!

remember Jesus took back what satan stole from Adam in the garden. we have the same authority that conquered the grave living in us.

dead hearts are everywhere.

i came across a new song and in the chorus it says 'dead hearts are everywhere'. it kinda grossed me out until i started thinking about it and God started speaking. think about it. dead hearts are everywhere. hearts that don't understand God's love. hearts that don't know what unconditional love is. hearts that don't know what perfect love feels like. hearts that have forgotten and walked away and have died. 

as christians we have been giving two things that go hand in hand. a commission and a commandment. the great commission being 'Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (matthew 28:18-20 NLT) and the commandments being "Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (matthew 22:36-39 NLT). so we are called to firstly love God with everything, secondly to love everyone no matter who they are or what they have done and thirdly to teach them about Jesus and disciple them. the way i see it, we don't have a choice. Jesus said GO. He didn't say some of you are called to this, some of you aren't. He just said go. two letters, one word, but it holds so much power. 

i want to change the world. but some times i sleep instead. or shop and waste money. or hang out with friends. but i know that i'm called to go. because there are dead hearts everywhere.

feel free to comment :)

the waiting game

ever plan something for and hope for something and it completely flop and fail? yeah, been there. it's not easy when we get our hopes up and start to make plans for something and it not happen. its like a mini heart break every time. the way i deal with it? accept it probably wasn't God's will and move on to the next thing. after all, He knows best right? all i know is whatever happens or doesn't happen, i don't give. i just want to be living God's will for my life. so heres to hoping this next thing happens or doesn't happen according to His will because the truth is i'm barely hanging on with all this worry and waiting.


"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." 
                                                                                      Jeremiah 29:11 (the message)

to my friends far and wide.

'if there ever comes a day we can't be together,
                            keep me in your heart, i'll stay there forever.'

somedays having friends all over the world sucks. i miss you guys.