calling & vision

the other day i was praying into my calling and vision. this is what i heard from God.

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener.  

² He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit,

 and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.  

³ You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you.  

⁴ Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit 

if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

⁵ “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, 

will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.  

⁶ Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away

like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. 

⁷ But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for 

anything you want, and it will be granted! ⁸ When you produce much fruit, 

you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.

⁹ “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.  

¹⁰ When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, 

just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 

¹¹ I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 

¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 

¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  

¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command.  

¹⁵ I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. 

Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 

¹⁶ You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, 

so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.

  ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other."

//// john 15:1-17 

so many treasures in this passage.

God told me to write out the main components of a tree. so i wrote;

soil, trunk, roots, fruit, branches

then He gave me these words;

perspective, beliefs, values, decisions, fruit

& then God told me to match them up.

beliefs - soil

values - roots

perspective - trunk

decisions - branches

fruit - fruit

i asked God what message He wanted to come 

across to me and it was simple yet profound

(should i expect anything less) 

plant seeds in me and me alone & I will

unveil my plans & promises  

welcome to 23.

today is my birthday! i asked God for a word for my 

23rd year of life and this is what God gave me.

"I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.  For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.  May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God." //// philippians 1:9-11.

how good is our God?

God, here's to a year of discovering new levels of love and knowledge and understanding of You and the people in my life and the people who will come into my life. God, i want to live completely and wholly for You. God, i live to worship you. thank you for another year.

amen.

growing pains & rainbows

i finished my 21 day fast!

was it worth it? yes, very very much so.  

was it hard? yes. 

would i do it again? of course. 

when i started it God spoke to me that january and february would be months filled with growing pains. & that word has proven itself. but one thing that has remained through the growing pains is God. i would be hungry and i would pray and instantly the hunger would be gone. 

God sustained me beyond belief. 

He stretched me beyond belief 

& Him and i grew closer than we ever been.

yesterday was hard. i was wrestling through something with God. 

i spent the majority of my morning in worship and tears. 

but God moved and spoke. He began to reveal to me the discrepancies 

between my plan and His. it was physically painful. 

after about 3 hours of wrestling with God, i was exhausted. 

i decided to take it easy the rest of the day. another growing pain.

later in the evening i went out for coffee with a group of my young adult friends. 

we talked about our lives, our struggles and our breakthrough. 

it was awesome and an answer to prayer. 

about 4 months ago i had prayed for more solid girl friends. 

that doesn't mean that the ones i have weren't good enough 

but i prayed for God to send specific women into my life somehow 

who would help me grow in Him. 

since i prayed that the size of the young adults group 

my roommate and i lead doubled in the amount of girls attending!

God is good right?!

because yesterday was hard i am still feeling the exhaustion today.

but God never fails.

this morning on the way to work i told God i was

fully surrendering to God's plans and letting His plans be my plans. 

i prayed that God would send me visible signs that 

He was with me and guess what.

i turned the corner and there was a sun dog/rainbow.

i started to cry and thank God for His goodness and faithfulness.

how great is our God?!

with all this being said & all these stories and rambling.

i want to make this clear. through the growing pains

and through the trials, remember your foundation.

remember who has overcome the darkness.

remember that God is the God of the impossible

and He will help you slay the giant in your life.

welcome 2014

going into a new year you always see posts like 

"2013 was hard, looking forward to a fresh starts"

or

"a new year, a new beginning"

no matter how great or how bad your year was, it's a new year. 

another chance to live your best life.

for my friends around the world, 

here are some things that happened in 2013 in my life: 

- started a new job at my church :::

 first i started as working on a homeless shelter project part time, 

then started working full time as the children's ministry 

leader and summer intern, 

now i am an assistant to ministries.

- directed a kids camp where we had 80 kids come out for a week!

- i got to be in two of my closest friends weddings

- made some new friends

- went on a missions trip to a place called pinehouse lake for the 7th time

- got to visit lots of friends in two different cities

- started co-leading a small group

- spoke at a couple smallish conferences

- & probably a lot more i am forgetting.

where to next? -----> 

i have no idea. i desire to live completely in God's will. & more often than not that means not always knowing what is next. i know God has a plan but He has yet to fully tell me. right now i am busy with my job and busy with some ministries i am involved in. i am happy with where God is taking me but i know that there is something big around the corner. i am just not sure how close to the corner i am. 

i usually make a new years resolution. its usually something where i want to see a change in my life. this year i decided not to. i try to make changes as God speaks so i am going to it try this way this year. here's to hoping!

happy new year friends!

seasons

hey peeps!

i know its been a while. october flew by with events
every week at clc. november was so slow

but as november took forever to end,
God was teaching me & growing me. tons.

i'm going to be brutally honest. 

november & the beginning of december was & has been stinking hard. 

there were times of loneliness, times of heart ache,
times of frustration, times of struggles, 

times of joy, times of laughter,
times of reconnecting with awesome peep (#iloveyyc). 

but you know what, i wouldn't change those times for anything. 

because i believe God was in all of them. 

there's sweetness even in the most bitter seasons. 

theres a blessing in every season if you grasp onto it. 

here is a breakdown of the things God has spoken to me 

about any season & the seasons i am in 

the good and the bad. 

- in every struggle, there is a meaning. 

- in every season, there is beauty. 

- God has a schedule for every season but we don't always get to see it.

* 'Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity 

in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s 

work from beginning to end.' ecclesiates 3:11*

- strive for an effortless release of anointing 

- pioneer anointing - made to create God breathed ministries

- the one who made the promise is greater than the promise

- when satan tries to condemn you, stop him in his tracks
by telling him to drop the stone 

& remind him that Jesus didn't throw the stone

- strike the ground with the promises God has made to you

- becoming offended partners with exactly what you are contending against

- change starts with renewing your mind

- remember the kingdom belongs to children - its not rocket science

- God's desire is that none shall perish

- the light is stronger than the darkness

- dirt represents our humanity, water represents the Holy Spirit. 

together mud is created. learn to love the mud.

- there may be a lot of mess in our lives but there is meaning in the mess

- stop beating yourself up about the mess

- what the world calls failure God calls fertilizer

remember friends, as the tide comes in & leaves again 

there will be trials there will be joy.

hold on for the ride.

 seize the good & conquer the bad.

choose joy. choose love.

life is good. life is busy. priorities change. i have had several of my blog readers text me over the past 7 months and ask when i was going to blog next. so here it FINALLY is! sorry it took so long. here is an update/excuse as to why i havent blogged.

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i started a new position as a full time staff at clc. during this full time position i led a kids bible camp and worked at a youth bible camp. check out these cool photos.

 this is cabin g. my cabin this summer. this photo was taken on formal friday, a camp tradition.

they were the best cabin. non stop laughing and great conversations.

love you all!

as the camp director i barely took any pictures. but here is one of some of the campers

releasing their hurts and sins to god. so powerful!

i was in two weddings!

1

  this is lauren's wedding. we met in grade 4 and 4 years later we became inseparable. 

and ever since then we've been best friends despite distance.

2.

 bachelorette party

this is jen. she was my youth leader.

then she became one of my closest friends.

love you ken-nay.

me and allison. i love her. i miss her.

this wedding was so recent i have no pictures yet.

i also spoke a conference in regina. 

i also said goodbye to a dear friend. 

she's at ywam denver learning how to continue on changing the world.

 photo cred to my roomie. this is me and best friend praying before our session at the conference.

this is farewell to katelin. love you bbg.

also i celebrated an anniversary that is monumental to me and my faith. 4 years ago i started my post high school journey by heading to australia to spend 6 months with ywam. it was the best decision i had ever made. while there i made life long friends, i travelled to new zealand and up the coast of oz, i grew in my relationship with God, i found my identity in Him, i learned how to love, i learned the difference in being happy and living in joy. i could go on and on. i have been missing ywam quite a bit recently. i've been dreaming of going back everyday. 

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despite a busy season God has been good. a major thing i've learned is to choose joy and love. life has been stressful at times during these months. sometimes even overwhelming. but when i choose to have joy and when i choose to show love, life is good.

i promise to post more. enjoy!

in like a lion

as a kid my grade 2 teacher would say, 'march comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.' so far march has been cray. day after day something unreal has happened. the majority of the events were negative but because God is so good, they all have or are turning into good things. 

a few days ago i was having a 'lion' like day. i was really feeling defeated. God took me to Exodus 14. this is the story of where God give moses the power to part the red sea.

 in verse 14 it says, 'the LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm'. moses was telling this to the people but God said to moses right after 'why are you crying out to me? tell the people to get moving!'

as i read this i felt God say to me, in verse 14 it sounds like we just have to do nothing and let God do all the work. but as i read verse 15 i realized God wants us to get moving. we can't look at the hopelessness or the destituteness of the situation. 

we have to shift our focus back to God and away from the circumstance.

as i wrestled with this and the circumstance i was in, God asked me

'what keeps you awake at night?'

i listed a few things. most of these were fears to do with the circumstance i was in. God then asked me very clearly,

'shouldn't it be the people who need me? shouldn't it be the lost people whom you want to see set free?'

i realized in that moment after a bit of pondering no one cares about the fears, no one cares about the details. people care about the outcomes. people care about lives being changed. 

now, i'm thinking why do i doubt God when time and time and time again He proves himself worthy, He proves himself faithful, He proves He provides. for whatever reason, as quickly as i get amped about something, i forget, i lose sight, i get fearful. 

what have i learned from all this rambling and cray days? 

focus on God not the circumstance. look to Him not the situation i'm in. 

God has called us forward and fears hold us back.

don't stop believing and pursuing the vision God has given us.